It is only a number!

You know over the past couple of years, I have been carrying tons of plastic cards. Each card does something but I have no idea what. Like I kinda understand my Northwest Airline points, I buy something for dollar and get a dollar in saved points, once I spend, say ten million dollars I get a one way flight to somewhere within 50 miles of my home, or something like that. Then there is my Barnes and Noble card, I do not really get points but I get a discount. Best Buy I get points, but I did not take enough advanced math in college to understand how much I spend equals a point. Can't forget my Eddie Merlot card. Just used it this Tuesday for a great meal, and they even told me I had 300 some points, but I did not know if I get a free ice cube for my drink or my meal was comped. I also hold a Gordon Food Service Card, which I can not recall the last time I received something in return. Speaking of retuning, Hallmark crowns me points for sending cards bought from their store. I can tell that this is a lost art, because they don't send me special greetings in the mail either. I have an Aveda card, I am sure you all do. I can not use it in Fort Wayne because we do not have any Aveda stores, but it is always nice to have when I am on vacation. I have an H2O card, and again, it does not do me any good while I live in Fort Wayne, but it does come in handy along with those in store only coupons I receive every quarter. I have a Pet Smart card, this really is Clyde's, but I hold onto it for him. I have an El Azteca card. I know that I can call ahead to get a seat reserved and Monday and Tuesday are double point days, so I am never sure if this means a free nacho sampler or enough Margaritas to make me forget how many times I had to eat there to get the free drinks. I do have a Borders card. Used it once and I get the emails that I do not have any points, and I know that I do, but how can I prove it. I guess, the point I am trying to make, can't we regulate these point programs so that I understand why I am carrying more plastic than Joan River's face in my billfold?